I miss me

Have you ever missed the old you? Or have you ever wish you could turn back the time where you could only care about things that make you truly happy?

I miss the old me a lot. I miss the carefree, worried-free, and high self-esteemed me so much. Saying so doesn't mean I want to avoid getting old and am lazy, it's just that I am pleased that I had a great great time when I was younger and those times are worth telling and sharing.

I still remember me studying hard for exams although I knew I could cheat. I do not deny cheating but I want to stress the joy I had in learning. I studied Math very hard that I could do very well in the exam and got the highest score in the school and was very proud of myself. I left the exam room with confidence that I did it all right even my outstanding male friends were talking about different solutions to the tests.

I still remember me reading in my granny room right after I came back from school. I lied down on my back reading detective and romantic stories until I fell asleep and woke up to see I had three missed calls in my 1200 Nokia phone that I used temporarily. And I didn't bother calling back.

I still remember the time that all I cared about and was curious about was who the murder was or how the author would end the stories. I still remember the time that all I feel regret about is not buying the detective stories but the romantic ones instead.

I still remember going to school and sitting in the class listening to my friends talking about their chats and about 'Online', 'Yahoo Messenger', 'Skype', words that I was not familiar with and couldn't imagine how people were able to talk via those stuff.

I still remember getting so occupied by the words mentioned in the stories than the surroundings, the noisiness of the classrooms, and the laughter.

Some times I wonder if in 5 or 10 years from now, I would miss the time I'm living now like I miss the time I had 5 or 10 years ago. Maybe not at all, maybe I would look back and wish I could have done the opposite of what I'm doing, and if that so, I will fail to accomplish my life goal again - to eliminate regrets as much as I could.

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