I've been noticing myself. I have a habit of feeling uncomfortable when I know that there will be people entering my life, sharing the house or even the bed... It takes me months to socialize with them and comfortably live with them. I thought maybe I was selfish and I was a Me and Me person, but what I discover about myself is just the opposite of what I thought.
I think back to the past where I got to know them and I realize I wasn't like this from the very start. I love knowing new people and making friends. But what is the thing that changes me? Slowly I have the answer.
Heartbreaks and separations make me the way I am today. It took me months or even years to get over it and move on with life. The mourning period was longer for me than for others (I witness it myself). That was when I realize I don't want to accept new people in my life because I was defending myself as I know when they leave, there will be an empty space in my life that will haunt me for a long period of time. I thought being vulnerable was okay until it attacks my life several time, but I still am. I just learn to deal with it.
Good news about this is that I get up and move on faster. Life is so unexpected, we will never know who will come and go, when and where. It just happens, and if we knew exactly what would happen, life wouldn't be exciting.
I move on, you leave. People leave cuz they see better things ahead, and being a friend, you wish them success. That's what you can do.
*Learn to celebrate success even if it's not mine*
Labels: About Me